My Guy is Natural Too: Tips for Men & Tender Heads

My Boyfriend is Newly Natural Too!


Okay, so my guy has never been relaxed, but he is natural and new to it. He loves the look, and I do too. A head of hair adds a touch of sensitivity, personality, and most importantly lets onlookers know that the man took some extra time preparing for their day in the morning. From a curly wild fro, to dreads, to twists, there is no way that we can ignore the fact that our guys have discovered these styles…And they look great on them!

Since some of us ladies have guys with variations in hairstyles we understand the maintenance that goes on right before bed or in that bathroom mirror in the morning. Nine times out of ten you must have a shampoo, conditioner, an oil, a moisturizer and, in his case, a Denman brush! The biggest problem my guy has with his hair is de-tangling. He can throw someone around practicing karate or kick-box on a punching bag, but he retreats at the sight of a comb. Yea you’ve got it, he’s ‘tender headed’. As you may know this makes styling difficult. Removing the knots, kinks, lint and whatever else is in his hair can take up to three times longer than it should. He and his tender scalp always have excuses like:

“No, It hurts.”

“My hair comes out.”

“I already de-tangled it, baby.”

“It’s not wet enough…Let me go wash it again.”

So, just cut it right? Wrong. I told you he really likes his hair and cutting it is not an option at the moment. His staple hairstyle has become coils. He makes them by rubbing a brush over wet or dry hair in the same circular motion around his head.

How To Makes Coils Like My Newly Natural ‘Tender Headed’ Boyfriend

What You Need

Denman Brush or Whatever De-tangling tool you use

A Spray Bottle with water and an oil or moisturizer

Oil Sheen



Softy Bristle Brush


With wet hair

  1. Detangle while washing. This minimizes the pain. When you work the conditioner throughout use a Denman brush or whatever de-tangler works best for you and start working your way through your hair. Start at the back of your head, then to the sides, next the middle and lastly the front. From then end to the root.
  2. Your hair should be nice and loose, but shrinking by the second if it’s anything like ours. Rinse it clean. Hair should be damp. Wrap towel around your neck to avoid getting completely drenched.
  3. Spray your Leave-In Conditioner or apply your own essential oils or moisturizers and comb it through.
  4. Apply your choice of gel generously and comb it through. Spray more of your water and oil if necessary.
  5. Here’s where the styling comes in. Take the brush and place it on a section of your hair. Give medium pressure and rub the brush swiftly in concentrated circles. Once your coils are formed in that section move on to another. **Make sure you rub in the same direction through. For example, my boyfriend rubs counterclockwise around his entire head.
  6. When complete you often see spaces or scalp. To make you look more uniform use you pick to lift the hair and close any large unwanted spaces.
  7. Spray with oil sheen and you’re done. Let air dry or blow dry on a cool day.

With dry hair

  1. Follow Steps 3-7

Anyone have a guy like this? Let me know in the comments!

Published by BlackHairKitchen

BlackHairKitchen covers all things Black hair care, from the kitchen sink to the hair salon.

Join the Conversation

1 Comment

  1. Wish my guy was entirely like this, he’s biracial and has a natural Afro texture but is now 30 and has a receding hairline. He shaves his head (classic black guy look, lol) but likes to use natural hair products on his coarse and kinky beard. Every few days after I do my hair he’ll ask me to spray it with SheaMoisture Hold & Shine mist and then brush it with my Denman. It gets super soft and the girly smell fades away overnight. I love how learning about natural hair care changes everyone’s perceptions about how doing hair should feel too. He used to do the old-school damaging practice of using an orange rattail comb on dry hair. The first time he let me use my stuff on him he said “I didn’t know there was a way to comb it without any pain.”

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *